yes it has been a while

So I have been back in Ojai since July 14th, and I can say that my life has changed much. There's something about doing 100 hours of yoga study away from the daily grind that just changes you from the inside - out. I have been back for almost 2 months now and I am still confused how to live life. I'm glad I live in Ojai though because it supports this process of growing into yourself. I am torn by the shedding of my old skin that I had been wearing most of my life, and this new fresh coat of being a yogini. It's not always a cup of tea to be so awake to see the thought patterns I so easilv discarded for at least the last 6 years. Like Kira says, living on the spiritual path is not easier than the life u had before, but as u begin to observe the patterns that made us feel safe we can expand into the change that inevitably occurs. Well I have noticed one thing for sure. Wow, how I run away from a sense of "community". I am such an introvert, and I have depended on my own shell to protect me. But there comes a point when I need to be honest with myself whether I am running away from the support of my community. I mean, my heart brought me to Ojai, I MUST want to learn this. My shell and introverted-ness appear now to drive me into lonely solitude where all I have is my thoughts that drive me mad. This is a huge undertaking, and I think I will be working on it for a long time. Maybe my whole life. My latest excuse is my new-found dislike for sun salutations. When I have my own class, we won't be doing them, but for now I am going to try to be open and maybe learn something new about the sun salutes. Maybe I'll learn about lunar salutations. I don't know. My mom is going to arrive shortly, and perhaps she can help me to gain insight on my flight response to love and community. More on that, next time. Love.